Thursday, September 9, 2010

Making Mental Moonshine

I have a small sheet of paper torn from a pocket notepad. Scribbled on it is every item I need for a hiking an overnight trip. A lot of thought has gone into this list, but also a leap of faith. It’s a road map, or should I say a treasure map with the injection of just the smallest bit of imagination.

You might ask, “Why would anyone fill a rump sack with dehydrated food and some odds ends and then trek for hours and hours only to arrive exhausted and essentially end up sleeping in the dirt?” 

The piece of paper tells me everything I need. It tells me to leave out things like extra t-shirts, multi gadget army knife and towel and not to forget things like a sleeping hat, lighter and Aleve for my back. It distills everything I will need from the time we hit the park or trailhead to the time we are eating at some diner days later on our return.


I find the finite nature of the list to be very comforting. There isn’t much else in life that can be this completely known. If it’s not included on the list, it ceases to exist. My world is reduced to what I am carrying on my back. Hiking for me is that sense of completeness coming from this focused containment. I think as humans we have special circuitry in our head that fires when we enter this state. It’s like reaching the end of a puzzle.


Last night we pulled into Graves something state park just after dark. There was a torrential downpour outside the car. The headlights revealed a completely soaked campsite. I could almost hear it saying "Come on out, I dare you," as the light shined back at us.


We waited about half an hour until it slowed down a bit. Time to make a run for it! A few moments later I was attaching an end of the tent to the posts that I had snapped into place. With a small flashlight in my mouth I was leaning over trying to block some of the rain from spilling into the still exposed open mesh of the tent about to be my home for the night.


Hiking for me is that sense of unrushed urgency. We are always going to get wet; the only question is how much and can we keep it from pour down our sleeves.


I have a new backpack, it’s still breaking me in. She weighed in at 32 pounds with the bladder half full but both water bottles empty. She and I had decided to go on a diet together and we were pretty happy with 32. On the first day after a few hours of hiking, I fell into a really good stride. The pack was sitting just right. I figured out how to get the straps of the trekking poles wrapped around my wrist and under my thumb so that I effortlessly swing the poles way out then tighten my grip and pull the whole Earth towards me.


I'm not sure if the triple protein power bar advertising scientifically released bursts of energy had just kicked in, but after a long incline, instead of being winded, my whole body felt alive. I could almost picture the chain gang of cells frantically shuffling oxygen down one side and carbon dioxide on the other. I think our bodies were designed to be beasts of burden, but we decide to carry the wrong thing much of the time. Out here, I only care what I need and what will sustain me.


On the ride home, muscles groups throughout my body sing out in a chorus of aching. I have two blisters on the back of each heel. My hair is all knotted up, I haven't shaved in days. I have dirt in quite a few places and smell bad in all the others. But somehow I can’t say I feel bad.


When we pull up to filling station and stop for refreshments I look at the inside door handle next to me. It’s definitely not going to open itself and exhaustion has already dictated that no unnecessary movements are allowed, so I sink back into the seat and watch the world outside me. When the others return, we enthusiastically (albeit a mellow mature enthusiasm) discuss the upcoming big hike in the fall. What's there not to absolutely love about hiking?

Friday, July 30, 2010

Lucid

I went to see the movie Inception last week, it was in an IMAX theater.  I have always been interested in lucid dreaming and related items.  The movie tried to explain some things at a third grade level but then brushed big concepts aside with the common “the military created it” prop.  The surgically injected the required number of comical punch lines but surprisingly opted out of the on screen romance, unless you include the part with the dead chick.

Anyway, I thought it was great, and it reawakened in me my fascination with the topic.  Since then I have had two lucid dreams.  In once I opened doors I knew I wasn’t suppose to and knocked over a huge Christmas tree.  In another, I was walking to a bus in India and I realized it was a dream because I knew I wasn’t supposed to be in India.  I stopped, turned and headed to a small beggar girl.  I was confused if I should feel sorry for her since it was only a dream.

Twenty years ago or so I use to experiment more.  The excitement of knowing it was a lucid dream would typically get me so excited that I only had a few seconds before I brought myself out of it.  I have verified that I dream in color and I have awoken from one dream state into another.  My next goal will be to see if I can do this three layers deep.

When it works right, experiencing a lucid dream is being in a world that is more vivid and alive then anything we can perceive in the real world, even one altered by substances since you still have complete access to all parts of your brain.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Request Process

Papa, I don't like this.  I will take care of my desk.  I will clean it.  I just want to put my stuff (there).  We will not fight.  I ask to keep (it).  Is that too much to ask for if it is to much , I will just be really sad.  You and me could be friends again. I want to be really happy, want to be friends again.  Would you like that?  I want to be (friends) with you.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Studio

I was sitting at my desk last night, but turned around with my feet up on the backboard of the bed.  My six year old daughter came in excited and jumped on my legs.  She was wearing a pair of earrings that we made together.  The pair she had on tonight were fashionable plastic color stars reusing the string from another pair.  She recently modified the design by wounding up the string around the post because she didn't like dangling ones.  The first pair she ever made was a piece of clay stuck onto the end of empty clip ons.  They didn't last long.  The next were a pair of extra buttons held on by dental floss.







She wanted to tell me about the art studio her mother was going to set up for her in the basement.  She loves doing projects and this way we wouldn't have to worry about the mess.  She told me it had the added benefit of helping to conquer her fear of the basement.  I’m sure the second idea was not her own but like all kids, she has a wonderful ability to make our hopes her own.

With great animation she told me about the papers and paints that would make up this studio and maybe a tent over the whole thing.  I leaned forward and looked right at her and asked if she wanted to know a secret.  She paused and with a serious look she nodded.  I told her I always wanted to be an artist and asked if it would be ok if I could have a studio next to hers. 

Because this was a secret she bounced on my legs as she moved closer.  Yeaaah!! she said.  Then in hushed but excited tones she said she always wanted to be an artist too.  It was like two foreigners from the same country finding each other in a far away land.


We preceded to build up our studios describing in detail the folders we would use, how we could create sculptures, the different paints and pencils, and how we would display things all over the walls.


The Father-Daughter studio continued to take form.  She could sense my genuine excitement as I continued to imagine all the amazing things we would create side by side.  I have always been extremely proud of the pictures and crafts she has done, but now I had elevated her to some world renowned artist in a high ceiling loft in NYC snubbing pretentious collectors from Milan, Berlin, and Tokyo.

I was momentarily distracted from my runaway fantasy as I could see she wanted to tell me something.  Great bring it on, how can we make this magical world even better?  She said her dream was to make one kind of picture.  She wanted all her art to be pictures... pictures of puppies.

I looked at her and smiled... puppies… huh... hmmm... ok then, puppies it is.  I now look forward to the creation of an amazing world of puppies.   God bless her.


Monday, September 28, 2009

Horse Power

A couple fun events for the kids...



Not sure they both met the height requirement and I really wasn't sure they could make it around the whole track, but they did great. There must just be some instinct in each of us to drive fast followed by one to violently smash into the person in front of us...





Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Brave New Girl

This was all her idea...


First she ties the string to her tooth and the doorknob, and then slams the door shut.




She presents the result to her brother for inspection....