1) Buy car insurance from a guy that insists you have at least one beer before leaving his office.
2) Do a number two in a well established outhouse on a 100+ degree day.
3) Ration water like you live on Mars.
4) Harvest potatoes with a pitchfork until you can’t stand up straight.
5) Drink a three sip espresso at an outdoor café as Mussolini-era Fiats billow smoke out as they pass.
6) Eat watermelon you pick yourself and that is freshly chilled in a nearby underground stream feed river.
7) Pass high speed oncoming traffic on a single lane country road, without closing your eyes.
8) Breathe the crisp blowing air on a plateau situated high up somewhere in the Black Mountains.
9) Enjoy field corn that has exploded after being boiled for four hours.
10) Visit an outdoor market and buy authentic designer T-shirts from Albanians that has the word Alabama proudly displayed on it.
11) Curse traffic using three languages in as short of a sentence as grammatically possible.
12) Attend a beauty contest where all the contestants are wearing layered heavy wool traditional dress on hot sunny day.
13) Cut thorn weeds with a sickle, gather them up and set them ablaze at nightfall. Now sit back and recall the first time you read Lord of the Flies.
14) Have boiled cheese as your side dish to your main course of bread and cheese.
15) Discover that “white meat” is not the red part of a slab of pork belly.
You can boil cheese? That's revolting. I tried to read Lord of the Flies twice this summer. I can't get into it, which is too bad since I am required to teach it this upcoming school year.
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